My Wife's A Liar - Help!

[Rocker]

I'm in the UK. I'm divorcing my wife for unreasonable behaviour and this has
been going on for a few months now. Amongst many other things she has been
verbally aggressive and abusive to me and our 13 year old daughter over the
years.

We're at the stage where the decree nisi has been applied for and we've
submitted out financial details.

Naturally I want my daughter to live with me and my wife wants her with her
but we still haven't agreed who is going to keep the house etc.

Anyway, the question is this:

My wife has started telling many lies including saying that I am threatening
her, which I am not and never have been.

I don't have any witnesses and neither does she, but I'm sure these sort of
allegations are potentially dangerous and damaging., Everyone who knows me
would vouch for me and say that I am just not the type to do this sort of
thing, but I'm sure that means nothing in the eyes of the law.

Does anyone have any advice as to how I can defend myself here or what I can
do about it to stop it getting worse. I'm not getting much help from the
solicitor in this respect and I have to say I am very worried about the
implications of this if she should make any more serious allegations.

Thanks.

[iNet Group]

Post by Rocker
I'm in the UK. I'm divorcing my wife for unreasonable behaviour and this has
been going on for a few months now. Amongst many other things she has been
verbally aggressive and abusive to me and our 13 year old daughter over the
years.
We're at the stage where the decree nisi has been applied for and we've
submitted out financial details.
Naturally I want my daughter to live with me and my wife wants her with her
but we still haven't agreed who is going to keep the house etc.
My wife has started telling many lies including saying that I am threatening
her, which I am not and never have been.
I don't have any witnesses and neither does she, but I'm sure these sort of
allegations are potentially dangerous and damaging., Everyone who knows me
would vouch for me and say that I am just not the type to do this sort of
thing, but I'm sure that means nothing in the eyes of the law.
Does anyone have any advice as to how I can defend myself here or what I can
do about it to stop it getting worse. I'm not getting much help from the
solicitor in this respect and I have to say I am very worried about the
implications of this if she should make any more serious allegations.
Thanks.

Invest in a video camera and blank tapes. Quick.

I was accused of being threatening, abusive. When asked the dates, she
rambled off dates when I picked up/dropped off my children. Dates that were
two years old, three years old. However, I filmed every single
pickup/dropoff since day one, as I knew she would, eventually, claim
something like that. Needless to say, her credibility is less than not
good.

I have videotaped portions of almost every visitation also. She hasn't
tried the nuke yet, but I'm ready if she ever does.

[JayCee]

This is what usually happens when you marry a western woman ...

Post by Rocker
I'm in the UK. I'm divorcing my wife for unreasonable behaviour and this has
been going on for a few months now. Amongst many other things she has been
verbally aggressive and abusive to me and our 13 year old daughter over the
years.
We're at the stage where the decree nisi has been applied for and we've
submitted out financial details.
Naturally I want my daughter to live with me and my wife wants her with her
but we still haven't agreed who is going to keep the house etc.
My wife has started telling many lies including saying that I am threatening
her, which I am not and never have been.
I don't have any witnesses and neither does she, but I'm sure these sort of
allegations are potentially dangerous and damaging., Everyone who knows me
would vouch for me and say that I am just not the type to do this sort of
thing, but I'm sure that means nothing in the eyes of the law.
Does anyone have any advice as to how I can defend myself here or what I can
do about it to stop it getting worse. I'm not getting much help from the
solicitor in this respect and I have to say I am very worried about the
implications of this if she should make any more serious allegations.
Thanks.

[iNet Group]

"JayCee" <***@nospamhere.com> , posterchild for why there should be
moderators in every newsgroup, dropped his beer on his girlfried slash
computer, and what vomited forth was...

Post by JayCee
This is what usually happens when you marry a western woman ...

JayCee,

As you are not married now, and in fact have never been married to either a
Western, or any other woman for that matter, what makes you think we give a
rats ass what you think?

[JayCee]

Post by iNet Group

Post by JayCee
This is what usually happens when you marry a western woman ...

JayCee,
As you are not married now, and in fact have never been married to either a
Western, or any other woman for that matter, what makes you think we give a
rats ass what you think?

I wouldn't want to be married to an Ameriwhore in the first place. Why marry a
woman in this country when there is a 75% divorce rate, and a 60% infidelity
rate? And 80% of all divorces are initiated by women, most often for reasons
other than abuse or neglect. Usually it's just because "we drifted apart" or
"my needs weren't being fulfilled." Why marry an American/western woman when
there are so many women on this earth in other countries who are loyal,
faithful, loving, and trustworthy (everything that American women are not)? Why
marry an American woman when the odds are greater than not that she will one
day take you to divorce court and take 50% of what you have? Why have children
with an American/western woman when the odds are that she will end up divorcing
you and taking the kids with her? Well, a lot of you guys seem to enjoy getting
screwed over, so go marry another American/western woman and in a few years you
will be back in here whining about your latest divorce ...

[iNet Group]

Post by JayCee

Post by iNet Group

Post by JayCee
This is what usually happens when you marry a western woman ...

JayCee,
As you are not married now, and in fact have never been married to either a
Western, or any other woman for that matter, what makes you think we give a
rats ass what you think?

I wouldn't want to be married to an Ameriwhore in the first place. Why marry a
woman in this country when there is a 75% divorce rate, and a 60% infidelity
rate? And 80% of all divorces are initiated by women, most often for reasons
other than abuse or neglect. Usually it's just because "we drifted apart" or
"my needs weren't being fulfilled." Why marry an American/western woman when
there are so many women on this earth in other countries who are loyal,
faithful, loving, and trustworthy (everything that American women are not)? Why
marry an American woman when the odds are greater than not that she will one
day take you to divorce court and take 50% of what you have? Why have children
with an American/western woman when the odds are that she will end up divorcing
you and taking the kids with her? Well, a lot of you guys seem to enjoy getting
screwed over, so go marry another American/western woman and in a few years you
will be back in here whining about your latest divorce ...

So, to clarify, you have not been married, you are not dating now, in fact
you are unable to have a relationship. Therefore, you blame all of your
problems on the women you so desperately want acceptance from, the
"Ameriwhores", American women, of which, by the way, your mother was one.
Speaking of your mother, sorry that happenned when you were younger. I'm
sure she would tell you it was for your own good, she thought "she was doing
the best for you". Sorry she can't.

So now you are so completely messed up you don't know which end is up. Here
is my advice for you - please be sure to have both barrels in your mouth
before pulling the trigger, and have a nice day!

[Ray Gordon]

Post by iNet Group
So now you are so completely messed up you don't know which end is up.

Here

Post by iNet Group
is my advice for you - please be sure to have both barrels in your mouth
before pulling the trigger, and have a nice day!

Is this supposed to be an example of how "nice" American women are?

Cheaters can "get women." Does that make them superior?

If so, women shouldn't whine when they get cheated on.

[Barbara Didrichsen]

On Sat, 25 Sep 2004 00:31:18 GMT, JayCee <***@nospamhere.com>
wrote:

[snip]

Post by JayCee
I wouldn't want to be married to an Ameriwhore in the first place.

Wow -- what a great term! The next time someone asks me my
nationality, I'll simply respond -- Ameriwhore.

Barb

[LoriMc]

Post by Barbara Didrichsen
[snip]

Post by JayCee
I wouldn't want to be married to an Ameriwhore in the first place.

Wow -- what a great term! The next time someone asks me my
nationality, I'll simply respond -- Ameriwhore.
Barb

Yes it is rather catchy! :)

[Rambler]

Post by Barbara Didrichsen
[snip]

Post by JayCee
I wouldn't want to be married to an Ameriwhore in the first place.

Wow -- what a great term! The next time someone asks me my
nationality, I'll simply respond -- Ameriwhore.

Ah yes, but you do realize that he just confirmed that he's never been
married, so has absolutely no idea what he is spouting off about.

Rambler
(waiting for the backtrack)

[Casey]

JayCee said...

Post by JayCee

Post by iNet Group
As you are not married now, and in fact have never been married to either a
Western, or any other woman for that matter, what makes you think we give a
rats ass what you think?

I wouldn't want to be married to an Ameriwhore in the first place. Why marry a
woman in this country when there is a 75% divorce rate, and a 60% infidelity
rate?

Why are you posting to ASD anyway? Just to have an audience of
American women to insult?

Is that what it takes to make you feel halfway manly?



Casey

[Tony Miller]

On Fri, 24 Sep 2004 20:37:37 -0500, Casey

Post by Casey
JayCee said...

Post by JayCee

Post by iNet Group
As you are not married now, and in fact have never been married to either a
Western, or any other woman for that matter, what makes you think we give a
rats ass what you think?

I wouldn't want to be married to an Ameriwhore in the first place. Why marry a
woman in this country when there is a 75% divorce rate, and a 60% infidelity
rate?

Why are you posting to ASD anyway? Just to have an audience of
American women to insult?
Is that what it takes to make you feel halfway manly?

You really shouldn't feed the troll. If you do, you have to take him home
:)

-Tony

[Casey]

Tony Miller said...

Post by Tony Miller
On Fri, 24 Sep 2004 20:37:37 -0500, Casey

Post by Casey
JayCee said...

Post by JayCee

Post by iNet Group
As you are not married now, and in fact have never been married to either a
Western, or any other woman for that matter, what makes you think we give a
rats ass what you think?

I wouldn't want to be married to an Ameriwhore in the first place. Why marry a
woman in this country when there is a 75% divorce rate, and a 60% infidelity
rate?

Why are you posting to ASD anyway? Just to have an audience of
American women to insult?
Is that what it takes to make you feel halfway manly?

You really shouldn't feed the troll. If you do, you have to take him home
:)

Actually, it's kinda hard to feed an AI 'bot anyway.
But it's tempting to jolt it's programmed response at times.

Maybe AI is the wrong term - more like an AS (Artificial Stupidity)
instead.



Casey

[Caren]

Post by Casey
Tony Miller said...

Post by Tony Miller
On Fri, 24 Sep 2004 20:37:37 -0500, Casey

Post by Casey
JayCee said...

Post by JayCee

Post by iNet Group
As you are not married now, and in fact have never been married to either a
Western, or any other woman for that matter, what makes you think we give a
rats ass what you think?

I wouldn't want to be married to an Ameriwhore in the first place. Why marry a
woman in this country when there is a 75% divorce rate, and a 60% infidelity
rate?

Last I checked, the divorce rate was 50%. What makes you think that
all divorces are the fault of the woman? Are there no male
"Ameriwhores"? Are there no female "Asiawhores"? "Eurowhores"?

Post by Casey

Post by Tony Miller

Post by Casey
Why are you posting to ASD anyway? Just to have an audience of
American women to insult?

Real American women don't get insulted by morons spouting stupidity.
:-)

Post by Casey

Post by Tony Miller

Post by Casey
Is that what it takes to make you feel halfway manly?

He has to find some way to feel manly, no?

Post by Casey

Post by Tony Miller
You really shouldn't feed the troll. If you do, you have to take him home
:)

It's fun to feed and leave.

Post by Casey
Actually, it's kinda hard to feed an AI 'bot anyway.
But it's tempting to jolt it's programmed response at times.
Maybe AI is the wrong term - more like an AS (Artificial Stupidity)
instead.
Casey

[Doug Laidlaw]

Post by Caren

Post by Casey
Tony Miller said...

Post by Tony Miller
On Fri, 24 Sep 2004 20:37:37 -0500, Casey

Post by Casey
JayCee said...

Post by JayCee

Post by iNet Group
As you are not married now, and in fact have never been married to
either a Western, or any other woman for that matter, what makes
you think we give a rats ass what you think?

I wouldn't want to be married to an Ameriwhore in the first place.
Why marry a woman in this country when there is a 75% divorce rate,
and a 60% infidelity rate?

Last I checked, the divorce rate was 50%. What makes you think that
all divorces are the fault of the woman? Are there no male
"Ameriwhores"? Are there no female "Asiawhores"? "Eurowhores"?

Post by Casey

Post by Tony Miller

Post by Casey
Why are you posting to ASD anyway? Just to have an audience of
American women to insult?

Real American women don't get insulted by morons spouting stupidity.
:-)

Post by Casey

Post by Tony Miller

Post by Casey
Is that what it takes to make you feel halfway manly?

He has to find some way to feel manly, no?

Post by Casey

Post by Tony Miller
You really shouldn't feed the troll. If you do, you have to take him home
:)

It's fun to feed and leave.

Post by Casey
Actually, it's kinda hard to feed an AI 'bot anyway.
But it's tempting to jolt it's programmed response at times.
Maybe AI is the wrong term - more like an AS (Artificial Stupidity)
instead.
Casey

I wouldn't feed the troll either. It is like answering a harrasssing phone
caller. So long as we keep listening, he will keep talking. And it is up
to you girls to choose whether you will feel hurt by his words. But I feel
sorry for jaycee just the same. What a predictable, half-alive man!

Doug.

Doug.

[Lauri]

Post by Casey
JayCee said...

Post by JayCee

Post by iNet Group
As you are not married now, and in fact have never been married to either a
Western, or any other woman for that matter, what makes you think we give a
rats ass what you think?

I wouldn't want to be married to an Ameriwhore in the first place. Why marry a
woman in this country when there is a 75% divorce rate, and a 60% infidelity
rate?

Why are you posting to ASD anyway? Just to have an audience of
American women to insult?
Is that what it takes to make you feel halfway manly?

Well, since he can't get laid.....what else is there?

Lauri in WA (just guessing)

I like my email spamless

[me]

Hi Jaycee,

Well I heard you Jaycee. All the way over from
alt.support.marriage.
And, I came here to tell you that I'm sorry that
you are unhappy. I hope that helps.


Maria

Post by JayCee

Post by iNet Group

Post by JayCee
This is what usually happens when you marry a western woman ...

JayCee,
As you are not married now, and in fact have never been married to either a
Western, or any other woman for that matter, what makes you think we give a
rats ass what you think?

I wouldn't want to be married to an Ameriwhore in the first place. Why marry a
woman in this country when there is a 75% divorce rate, and a 60% infidelity
rate? And 80% of all divorces are initiated by women, most often for reasons
other than abuse or neglect. Usually it's just because "we drifted apart" or
"my needs weren't being fulfilled." Why marry an American/western woman when
there are so many women on this earth in other countries who are loyal,
faithful, loving, and trustworthy (everything that American women are not)? Why
marry an American woman when the odds are greater than not that she will one
day take you to divorce court and take 50% of what you have? Why have children
with an American/western woman when the odds are that she will end up divorcing
you and taking the kids with her? Well, a lot of you guys seem to enjoy getting
screwed over, so go marry another American/western woman and in a few years you
will be back in here whining about your latest divorce ...

[me]

Hi Jaycee,

Well I heard you Jaycee. All the way over from
alt.support.marriage. And, I came here to tell you
that I'm sorry that you are unhappy. I hope that helps.


Maria

Post by JayCee
I wouldn't want to be married to an Ameriwhore in the first place. Why marry a
woman in this country when there is a 75% divorce rate, and a 60% infidelity
rate? And 80% of all divorces are initiated by women, most often for reasons
other than abuse or neglect. Usually it's just because "we drifted apart" or
"my needs weren't being fulfilled." Why marry an American/western woman when
there are so many women on this earth in other countries who are loyal,
faithful, loving, and trustworthy (everything that American women are not)? Why
marry an American woman when the odds are greater than not that she will one
day take you to divorce court and take 50% of what you have? Why have children
with an American/western woman when the odds are that she will end up divorcing
you and taking the kids with her? Well, a lot of you guys seem to enjoy getting
screwed over, so go marry another American/western woman and in a few years you
will be back in here whining about your latest divorce ...

[.***@......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................]

All American women are bitches !!!!!

Post by JayCee

Post by iNet Group

Post by JayCee
This is what usually happens when you marry a western woman ...

JayCee,
As you are not married now, and in fact have never been married to either a
Western, or any other woman for that matter, what makes you think we give a
rats ass what you think?

I wouldn't want to be married to an Ameriwhore in the first place. Why marry a
woman in this country when there is a 75% divorce rate, and a 60% infidelity
rate? And 80% of all divorces are initiated by women, most often for reasons
other than abuse or neglect. Usually it's just because "we drifted apart" or
"my needs weren't being fulfilled." Why marry an American/western woman when
there are so many women on this earth in other countries who are loyal,
faithful, loving, and trustworthy (everything that American women are not)? Why
marry an American woman when the odds are greater than not that she will one
day take you to divorce court and take 50% of what you have? Why have children
with an American/western woman when the odds are that she will end up divorcing
you and taking the kids with her? Well, a lot of you guys seem to enjoy getting
screwed over, so go marry another American/western woman and in a few years you
will be back in here whining about your latest divorce ...

[Rambler]

JayCee wrote:

<snip dumbness>

JayCee, buddy,

you're still here. Thank God. I thought the world was about to end.

Rambler

[LoriMc]

Post by Rocker
My wife has started telling many lies including saying that I am
threatening her, which I am not and never have been.
I don't have any witnesses and neither does she, but I'm sure these
sort of allegations are potentially dangerous and damaging., Everyone
who knows me would vouch for me and say that I am just not the type
to do this sort of thing, but I'm sure that means nothing in the eyes
of the law.
Does anyone have any advice as to how I can defend myself here or
what I can do about it to stop it getting worse. I'm not getting much
help from the solicitor in this respect and I have to say I am very
worried about the implications of this if she should make any more
serious allegations.
Thanks.

Make sure you *do* have a witness each and every time you have to be in her
presence and document everything.

Lori Mc

[HumanBot]

Welcome to the world of feminine terrorism 101.

As the others here have mentioned, do whatever you can to
cover your ars. Keep your distance as much as you can, this
can be difficult if sharing the house, but don't be goaded into
any possible conflicts.

Keep a record of facts surrounding all false allegations, including
what you think her motives or influences are. Is alcohol a factor?
Drugs? Does she any kind of history of abuse or control with
other people?

Don't let yourself get suckered into things like "let's meet at the
coffee shop and discuss such and such..." 'cause she just might
set you up and have a hissy fit with ALOT of witnesses.
(been there, got the t-shirt)

Remember that false allegations are just that, false.
Your defence is logic, fact and truth, use it wisely.
If you can discredit her, and make good logical and factual
arguments against her, you can eventually charge
her with fraud.

Keep in mind the extremes. If you think she has the potential
to do some crazy shit like tossing herself down the stairs
and then calling the cops on you and accusing you of
battery.....then be prepared for the worse. As I've
learned, it is really hard to stand up for yourself against
a crazy person who knows no limits.

Hopefully, when her hatred has burned itself out, so will the
aggression and false accusations.

Best of luck. (sincerely)


"Rocker" <> wrote in message

: I'm in the UK. I'm divorcing my wife for unreasonable behaviour and this
has
: been going on for a few months now. Amongst many other things she has been
: verbally aggressive and abusive to me and our 13 year old daughter over
the
: years.
:
: We're at the stage where the decree nisi has been applied for and we've
: submitted out financial details.
:
: Naturally I want my daughter to live with me and my wife wants her with
her
: but we still haven't agreed who is going to keep the house etc.
:
: Anyway, the question is this:
:
: My wife has started telling many lies including saying that I am
threatening
: her, which I am not and never have been.
:
: I don't have any witnesses and neither does she, but I'm sure these sort
of
: allegations are potentially dangerous and damaging., Everyone who knows me
: would vouch for me and say that I am just not the type to do this sort of
: thing, but I'm sure that means nothing in the eyes of the law.
:
: Does anyone have any advice as to how I can defend myself here or what I
can
: do about it to stop it getting worse. I'm not getting much help from the
: solicitor in this respect and I have to say I am very worried about the
: implications of this if she should make any more serious allegations.
:
: Thanks.
:
:

[Laura]

Gentle reminder. False allegations are not limited to the female gender.

Laura in CA

Post by HumanBot
Welcome to the world of feminine terrorism 101.
As the others here have mentioned, do whatever you can to
cover your ars. Keep your distance as much as you can, this
can be difficult if sharing the house, but don't be goaded into
any possible conflicts.
Keep a record of facts surrounding all false allegations, including
what you think her motives or influences are. Is alcohol a factor?
Drugs? Does she any kind of history of abuse or control with
other people?
Don't let yourself get suckered into things like "let's meet at the
coffee shop and discuss such and such..." 'cause she just might
set you up and have a hissy fit with ALOT of witnesses.
(been there, got the t-shirt)
Remember that false allegations are just that, false.
Your defence is logic, fact and truth, use it wisely.
If you can discredit her, and make good logical and factual
arguments against her, you can eventually charge
her with fraud.
Keep in mind the extremes. If you think she has the potential
to do some crazy shit like tossing herself down the stairs
and then calling the cops on you and accusing you of
battery.....then be prepared for the worse. As I've
learned, it is really hard to stand up for yourself against
a crazy person who knows no limits.
Hopefully, when her hatred has burned itself out, so will the
aggression and false accusations.
Best of luck. (sincerely)
"Rocker" <> wrote in message
: I'm in the UK. I'm divorcing my wife for unreasonable behaviour and this
has
: been going on for a few months now. Amongst many other things she has been
: verbally aggressive and abusive to me and our 13 year old daughter over
the
: years.
: We're at the stage where the decree nisi has been applied for and we've
: submitted out financial details.
: Naturally I want my daughter to live with me and my wife wants her with
her
: but we still haven't agreed who is going to keep the house etc.
: My wife has started telling many lies including saying that I am
threatening
: her, which I am not and never have been.
: I don't have any witnesses and neither does she, but I'm sure these sort
of
: allegations are potentially dangerous and damaging., Everyone who knows me
: would vouch for me and say that I am just not the type to do this sort of
: thing, but I'm sure that means nothing in the eyes of the law.
: Does anyone have any advice as to how I can defend myself here or what I
can
: do about it to stop it getting worse. I'm not getting much help from the
: solicitor in this respect and I have to say I am very worried about the
: implications of this if she should make any more serious allegations.
: Thanks.

[HumanBot]

I agree. You are correct.

However, I was expressing my point of view, as I
was/am in a similar situation.

I do have issues with the apparent ease that *some* women
have fabricating/etc in respect to family matters, and
I do not believe men are as inclined to act accordingly.

If I offended you by implying that I thought ALL women
were like this, it was not intended. There are some
significant women in my life that are all excellent.

Simply, the OP's post hit a nerve and I responded.
I'll try to be a little more even centered, should I
attempt to respond in the future. (your point was
well taken.)

Ciao

"Laura" <> wrote in message
: Gentle reminder. False allegations are not limited to the female gender.
:
: Laura in CA
:
: "HumanBot" <***@re.us.ca> wrote in message
: news:c635d.1056$***@newscontent-01.sprint.ca...
: > Welcome to the world of feminine terrorism 101.

[Laura]

No offense taken at all. As I wrote, it was a "gentle" reminder.

It's really hard sometimes for us to step outside our own histories and
situations and try to be more neutral. When we're not in a neutral or
balanced place, the things people say sometimes sting when it wasn't
intended.

I really don't think that fabricating stories to achieve a goal is limited
to one gender or the other, or even is primarily used by one gender over the
other. In my own particular case, my ex came up with the most outrageous,
and in some cases self-cancelling stories about me. As with many parents,
his means of hurting me was to use the kids.

It took years, but I got to the point where my history (mostly) doesn't
affect my perceptions of others and their stories. It takes time, and I did
need gentle nudges from my friends and acquaintances to remind me that not
everyone acts the way I was treated. :-)

Laura in CA

Post by HumanBot
I agree. You are correct.
However, I was expressing my point of view, as I
was/am in a similar situation.
I do have issues with the apparent ease that *some* women
have fabricating/etc in respect to family matters, and
I do not believe men are as inclined to act accordingly.
If I offended you by implying that I thought ALL women
were like this, it was not intended. There are some
significant women in my life that are all excellent.
Simply, the OP's post hit a nerve and I responded.
I'll try to be a little more even centered, should I
attempt to respond in the future. (your point was
well taken.)
Ciao
"Laura" <> wrote in message
: Gentle reminder. False allegations are not limited to the female gender.
: Laura in CA
: > Welcome to the world of feminine terrorism 101.

[J.S.]

Post by Laura
No offense taken at all. As I wrote, it was a "gentle" reminder.
It's really hard sometimes for us to step outside our own histories
and situations and try to be more neutral. When we're not in a
neutral or balanced place, the things people say sometimes sting when
it wasn't intended.
I really don't think that fabricating stories to achieve a goal is
limited to one gender or the other, or even is primarily used by one
gender over the other. In my own particular case, my ex came up with
the most outrageous, and in some cases self-cancelling stories about
me. As with many parents, his means of hurting me was to use the
kids.
It took years, but I got to the point where my history (mostly)
doesn't affect my perceptions of others and their stories. It takes
time, and I did need gentle nudges from my friends and acquaintances
to remind me that not everyone acts the way I was treated. :-)
Laura in CA

Well said. I think for me, I lean towards women doing it more often than men
because they so often seem to get away with it in the courts. One is lucky
if the court even bothers to slap them on the wrist. I think this is slowly
changing though thankfully.

J.S.

[Laura]

Post by J.S.

Post by Laura
No offense taken at all. As I wrote, it was a "gentle" reminder.
It's really hard sometimes for us to step outside our own histories
and situations and try to be more neutral. When we're not in a
neutral or balanced place, the things people say sometimes sting when
it wasn't intended.
I really don't think that fabricating stories to achieve a goal is
limited to one gender or the other, or even is primarily used by one
gender over the other. In my own particular case, my ex came up with
the most outrageous, and in some cases self-cancelling stories about
me. As with many parents, his means of hurting me was to use the
kids.
It took years, but I got to the point where my history (mostly)
doesn't affect my perceptions of others and their stories. It takes
time, and I did need gentle nudges from my friends and acquaintances
to remind me that not everyone acts the way I was treated. :-)
Laura in CA

Well said. I think for me, I lean towards women doing it more often than men
because they so often seem to get away with it in the courts. One is lucky
if the court even bothers to slap them on the wrist. I think this is slowly
changing though thankfully.
J.S.

Thankfully is right! :-)

Laura in CA

[HumanBot]

I'll second that, well said!

It is sometimes very difficult to be objective, if you are
reeling from the actions of another.

It is also difficult when one party makes a large number
of false statements or misconstrues the facts. Even if they
might have a valid point or issue amongst the rhetoric,
it becomes hard to give it merit or value when alot of
other issues and alleged facts are bogus. It reduces
fairness to everyone.

Your comments, I think, are beneficial to many. This sort
of stuff should be archived on ASD for others to refer to
in the future. Might give them the incentive to put down
the broad-swords, to realize that winning, just for the sake
of winning, can sometimes cost you dearly.

"Laura" <> wrote in message
: No offense taken at all. As I wrote, it was a "gentle" reminder.
:
: It's really hard sometimes for us to step outside our own histories and
: situations and try to be more neutral. When we're not in a neutral or
: balanced place, the things people say sometimes sting when it wasn't
: intended.
:
: I really don't think that fabricating stories to achieve a goal is limited
: to one gender or the other, or even is primarily used by one gender over
the
: other. In my own particular case, my ex came up with the most outrageous,
: and in some cases self-cancelling stories about me. As with many parents,
: his means of hurting me was to use the kids.
:
: It took years, but I got to the point where my history (mostly) doesn't
: affect my perceptions of others and their stories. It takes time, and I
did
: need gentle nudges from my friends and acquaintances to remind me that not
: everyone acts the way I was treated. :-)
:
: Laura in CA
<snipped>

[Rambler]

Post by Laura
No offense taken at all. As I wrote, it was a "gentle" reminder.
It's really hard sometimes for us to step outside our own histories and
situations and try to be more neutral. When we're not in a neutral or
balanced place, the things people say sometimes sting when it wasn't
intended.
I really don't think that fabricating stories to achieve a goal is limited
to one gender or the other, or even is primarily used by one gender over the
other. In my own particular case, my ex came up with the most outrageous,
and in some cases self-cancelling stories about me. As with many parents,
his means of hurting me was to use the kids.

And (I think) a somewhat correlated story. In this soup called the
divorce process, we each re-write our histories in order to make us feel
better and to deal with events. That is one of the reasons it is really
important to look at ourselves and acknowledge the error's of our own
ways. Personal growth I guess.

Rambler

Post by Laura
It took years, but I got to the point where my history (mostly) doesn't
affect my perceptions of others and their stories. It takes time, and I did
need gentle nudges from my friends and acquaintances to remind me that not
everyone acts the way I was treated. :-)
Laura in CA

Post by HumanBot
I agree. You are correct.
However, I was expressing my point of view, as I
was/am in a similar situation.
I do have issues with the apparent ease that *some* women
have fabricating/etc in respect to family matters, and
I do not believe men are as inclined to act accordingly.
If I offended you by implying that I thought ALL women
were like this, it was not intended. There are some
significant women in my life that are all excellent.
Simply, the OP's post hit a nerve and I responded.
I'll try to be a little more even centered, should I
attempt to respond in the future. (your point was
well taken.)
Ciao
"Laura" <> wrote in message
: Gentle reminder. False allegations are not limited to the female

gender.

Post by HumanBot
: Laura in CA
: > Welcome to the world of feminine terrorism 101.

[Rambler]

Post by HumanBot
I agree. You are correct.
However, I was expressing my point of view, as I
was/am in a similar situation.
I do have issues with the apparent ease that *some* women
have fabricating/etc in respect to family matters, and
I do not believe men are as inclined to act accordingly.
If I offended you by implying that I thought ALL women
were like this, it was not intended. There are some
significant women in my life that are all excellent.
Simply, the OP's post hit a nerve and I responded.
I'll try to be a little more even centered, should I
attempt to respond in the future. (your point was
well taken.)

Wow. A really rational response to a good reminder. Goes to show that
even when things in our own personal lives are topsy turvy, we don't
have to let that spill over into *every* thing and *all* events.

Rambler

Post by HumanBot
Ciao
"Laura" <> wrote in message
: Gentle reminder. False allegations are not limited to the female gender.
: Laura in CA
: > Welcome to the world of feminine terrorism 101.

[q***@gmail.com]

Documentary thing even video tape and hitting recording of what goes on when your wife is around